Eating Disorder Recovery

What Motivates Me

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Even though I had a little bit of a rough time in phase 2 with gaining, I have stuck with the Livefit trainer. Today will be Day 52 for me. And this makes me excited, and proud of myself!

This is the longest that I have stuck with an exercise program. I was always a quitter in the past when it came to physical activity. I quit swim team after just one practice because it was too strenuous for my liking. Same with flag football, I became equipment manager/videographer once I realized that it was a lot more work than I had thought. In tennis class, I told the instructor I couldn’t run laps at the beginning of class because I had back problems. I dropped jogging and distance running class in college.

Then, throughout my adult life, I would become enthusiastic about losing weight and getting healthy. I’d be working out every other day and eating better.   But, being as impatient as I am, when I wasn’t seeing results in just a few weeks, I would get discouraged and give up (which I had secretly wanted to do anyway, since I was NOT a fan of exercise).


I never stuck with anything, and I never had the motivation and determination to stick with a program. It was just so easy to do things the unhealthy way, and it kept me from having to do anything too strenuous. I hadn’t really ever been that healthy before, so I didn’t want it.

Last year it all changed. I will always have a love for running, because it was what initially snapped me out of my unhealthy funk, and gave me motivation. I started eating more, and committed myself to transforming into a runner, and started researching nutrition and exercise. Then I became passionate about making myself healthy, and being the best version of myself. And once I realized how much better I felt and how happy it made me, I realized I never wanted to go back to being unhealthy.

I started sticking with things and following through with my promises to myself. It made me excited to be committed, since I never really had been in the past, and that alone was my motivation. It keeps me from quitting. And although I’m not in the best shape, I am in the best shape that I have ever been in my life! And that alone is something for me to be proud of.

These are the reasons that I don’t give in to old habits, and don’t even think twice about it. I feel better than I ever have before. I sleep well, I have energy throughout the day, I’m more alert, happier, less irritable, and stronger.

Not that I don’t have bad days, or a few insecurities here and there. When I gain a little bit of weight, I can still get that feeling of disappointment and frustration.  I still can be a little sensitive to comments whenever I get sick (I used to get sick ALL the time, for long periods of time, and there were always people that commented on it, and it would hurt a little when people would make comments like “Wow, you’re always sick.”)  I’m still working on strengthening my immune system after years of being very unhealthy and getting sick at least 4 times a year, and I have made great progress and am so much healthier.

But it’s so much easier for me to dismiss these feelings and overcome them by remembering how determined and committed I have been, and the progress that I’ve made, and how long I have stuck with my goals so far. It makes me feel proud of myself to be able to see the small changes I’ve made in myself, and it makes me excited to see how much more I will improve.  I’m proud of myself for sticking to it, and for making being healthy a lifestyle.

That is my motivation.

<3 Jordan

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